What is Bromosexual Friendship?

II  found this article on my FaceBook Page the other day. What attracted my attention was the term bromosexual friendship, which reminded me of my article on Bromances in the US Presidency that I posted yesterday. I must admit that this term is fairly new to me, thus I am reposting the following article for your reading pleasure.   

I have known several friendships between gay men and straight women, but nonsexual friendship between a gay men and a straight men is not commonly discuss in our daily conversations.  I only know of one bromosexual friendship during my graduate school years at the University of Illinois in Chicago.    

 Here's the article for your reading pleasure. Authorship information and other details are listed at the end of this article. 

"For a long time, friendships between gay men and straight men – what some now call “bromosexual” friendships – were uncommon. Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much in common with gay men.

But lately, “bromosexual” friendships have started to receive more attention, acceptance and interest. They’re being explored and depicted in movies, books and blogs. In October, The New York Times even devoted an article in their Style section to “The Rise of the ‘Bromosexual’ Friendship.”

This sort of normalization is good news. But social scientists still haven’t studied the dynamics of these friendships: why they develop and how they’re maintained. Social psychologists has recently begun a research program with the goal of studying this very topic. Specifically, we’re interested in looking at the reasons gay men and straight men become friends (or remain friends after the gay friend comes out). We currently have a survey investigation underway that explores some of the positive outcomes of “bromosexual” friendships, including our theory that gay men and straight men can be optimal wing men for one another.

Friendships between gay and straight men have always existed. But there have also always been roadblocks to their formation. Many straight men hesitated to befriend gay men, fearing harassment, rejection from their straight friends or being called gay.

The growing acceptance of homosexuality, however, has allayed some of these fears.

There are still barriers. Gay men – particularly those in conservative and rural environments – remain wary about trying to befriend straight men, fearing prejudice-fueled rejection. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men in any meaningful way and, for this reason, may not try to initiate a friendship.

Of course, the traditional notion that gay men and straight men cannot be close friends is inherently homophobic and untrue. We propose gay-straight male friendships are not only possible, but that they can grow to be extremely rewarding. So rather than focusing on the factors that prevent these friendships, we’ve decided to focus on why they might form and flourish.

While it’s still too early for our team to be sure about our theories, here’s what we’ll be exploring in our current and future studies.

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NEW FOUNDATIONS FOR FRIENDSHIP

In some ways, when it comes to “bromosexual” friendships, the onus is on straight men. If they’re open-minded about befriending gay men and make the effort to try to forge friendships based upon common interests, gay men should feel more comfortable reciprocating.

So which straight men are the most likely to befriend gay men, and vice versa? And what determines whether these friendships prosper?

For one, the timing of when these friendships form may be crucial. We know that gay men are now coming out at an earlier age. Gay men who disclose their sexual orientation to their straight male friends earlier in life may be able to build more open and honest friendships with them into adulthood.

Second, recent research has argued that gender and sexual orientation might not be as black and white as previously thought, which opens up new avenues for exploring how gay and straight men can relate to one another. If a straight guy and his gay male friend are less rigid about their masculinity and sexuality, they’ll probably be more likely to discuss details about their sexual and romantic lives openly with one another.

These discussions are particularly important because they normalize same-gender attraction. Friendships also strengthen when each side discloses personal information, which can include discussing sexual experiences.

There’s another factor that could foster “bromosexual” friendships: the ability to give and receive advice from one another. Recent research has suggested that advice sharing could be a crucial reason that straight women seek out gay men as friends. In short, women are able to trust the dating advice from gay male friends because they know their gay friends don’t have any ulterior motives: They’re not trying to hook up with them or compete with them for guys.

We believe that this same sort of unbiased advice sharing might also foster friendships between gay and straight men.

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THE OPTIMAL WING MEN?

Because of the trust they engender from straight women, gay men are uniquely positioned to be excellent “wing men” for single straight men.

There’s a prevailing belief that men — regardless of their sexual orientation — are more sexually promiscuous than women. For this reason, women are often wary of their suitors’ true intentions, which could be to deceive them in order to have sex.

The increasing popularity of dating websites and apps (which are rife with unwanted sexual advances from “nice guys”) has made women more skeptical – and has made it that much harder for men genuinely seeking long-term relationships.

However, straight women do tend to trust the dating advice of gay men (especially more than advice from straight men or women). Accordingly, straight men could get a leg up in dating from becoming close friends with gay men. For example, a gay friend could vouch for his straight friend’s good intentions to women. A straight wing man wouldn’t be able to perform this tactic as successfully because the woman might be skeptical of the straight wing man’s own intentions – which could be to woo the woman for himself.

Straight men who are comfortable with their sexuality may also act as wing men for gay male friends. Just as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight friend, a straight man could connect his gay male friend with another desirable gay man, since neither the gay man nor his straight friend are competing for the same person.

We believe that having a trustworthy confidant to help with romantic pursuits is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leaving the comfort of their same-sex, same-orientation friend groups to form “bromosexual” friendships.

This article was written by Eric Russell, Ph.D. Student in Social Psychology, University of Texas Arlington; Marjorie Prokosch, Ph.D. student in Psychology, Texas Christian University, and Raymond McKie, Ph.D. Student in Psychology, Wilfrid Laurier University

This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article.

Meanwhile enjoy this photo of the Persimmon Tree in our THD Garden and Orchard

Incidentally in our Salads Menu for this Week, A Persimmon and Spring Mix Salad is listed. It has Fuyu Persimmons, sliced apples, pomegranates, strawberries, candied pecans, goat cheese and mixed greens with honey balsamic dressing. It was delicious and a very refreshing salad.

Most Famous Bromances in the US Presidency and History

Just recently, I took photos of Batman and Robin playing with each other. It reminded me of the word Bromance. Both Batman and Robin are male-neutered cats, so loving each other is an example of a cat bromance. Here are several photos I took.

So what is Bromance?: A bromance is a very close and non-sexual relationship between two or more men. It is an exceptionally tight, affectional, homosocial male bonding relationship exceeding that of usual friendship, and is distinguished from normal friendship by a particularly high level of emotional intimacy.

   Meanwhile here's and example of a bromance that is famous and shaped political history in the US. 

The president and his vice president were two of the closest in recent memory. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

It is hard to find a more famous bromance than the one between former President Barack Obama and former Vice President Biden.

After competing for the Democratic nomination in 2008, Obama chose Biden to join him on the ticket as his vice president.

From runs and walks around the White House to laughing over sharing meals and playing golf, the two were constantly seen together over their eight years in office. They even made friendship bracelets for each other to wear.

Before leaving office, Obama delivered the eulogy at the funeral of Biden's son, Beau. He also presented Biden with the Presidential Medal of Freedom in a surprise ceremony.

When the Bidens' planned to sell their house in order to help their son's family during his illness, Obama offered to cover the mortgage and give Biden the money.

Former first lady Michelle Obama once said that her husband and Biden "really love one another."

After leaving office, Obama said he "gained a brother" in Biden. "I don't like him, I love him," Biden said of Obama.

Her are references of other political bromances, in arts and in entertainment world.  

https://www.businessinsider.com/political-bromances-us-history-2018-7

https://time.com/3768202/best-bromances/

https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-greatest-bromances-art-history

Another bromance is between Abraham Lincoln and Josha Speed, that change the course of American history.  In 1837 Lincoln moved to Springfield to practise law and met Joshua Speed. They shared a bed for four years. “No two men were ever more intimate,” is how Speed summarised their relationship. Just how intimate is a touchy subject among scholars.

https://theconversation.com/did-abraham-lincolns-bromance-alter-th.-course-of-american-history-68031

Food for Thought: Will Trump and Putin be another famous bromance in history?

 Or Trump and Elon Musk?  I doubt it! They will just used each other when both are benefited for Power and Money.  I predict that Trump and Musk bromance will end before the end of 2025, when the economy will turn for the worst and Musk loses money because of Trump's tariff on imported goods from China and other countries and other policies. 

Why I Write- George Orwell

From My FaceBook Page This Morning; Why I Write by George Orwell

I have been writing ( poems, articles and essays) since 2008. I write to inform, educate, entertain and at times inspire. My personal blogs discuss topics such as aging, health, travel, food, leisure, art, music and sometimes comedies. I specialized on topics about the Philippines and my life at this highly rated active senior living community( THD) here in Walnut Creek. I avoid writing about sex, politics and religion. I have readers all over the world and there are no commercials/ads in my blogs. 

I have several feedbacks from my fellow residents here at THD that my blogs promotes a sense of community belonging and also educate and inform them about the Philippines and its culture & traditions. I write about the life of Filipinos and Filipino Americans here and abroad. By doing so, it keeps me feel young and helped in my aging gracefully. This posting is a book review on the Book of George Orwell, " Why I Write".

I do believe that writing is a Choice! I Believe in the Joy of seeing my mind come out into the world.

George Orwell's essay "Why I Write" offers aspiring writers valuable insights into the motivations, techniques, and challenges of the craft. Orwell's lessons continue to inspire and inform writers of all generations.

Here are lessons from the book:

1. The Power of Personal Experience: Orwell emphasizes the importance of drawing inspiration from one's own life experiences. By infusing his writing with personal anecdotes and observations, he creates narratives that resonate deeply with readers.

2. The Value of Clarity and Precision: Orwell believed in the power of clear and concise language. He advocated for writing that is free from unnecessary jargon and convoluted sentences. By striving for clarity, writers can effectively communicate their ideas to a wider audience.

3. The Importance of Social Consciousness: Orwell's writing was deeply rooted in his political and social beliefs. He saw it as his responsibility to use his platform to raise awareness about injustice and inequality. This highlights the potential for literature to be a powerful tool for social change.

4. The Need for Authenticity: Orwell believed that true writing should be a reflection of the writer's genuine self. He argued against the temptation to conform to literary trends or expectations. By writing honestly and authentically, writers can create work that is both meaningful and enduring.

5. The Role of Curiosity: Orwell's insatiable curiosity drove his writing. He was constantly seeking new experiences and knowledge, which he then incorporated into his work. Curiosity can be a powerful motivator for writers, inspiring them to explore new themes and perspectives.

6. The Importance of Discipline: Orwell acknowledged the challenges of maintaining a writing routine. He emphasized the importance of discipline and self-motivation in overcoming writer's block and staying productive.

7. The Pleasure of the Craft: Despite the challenges, Orwell found great joy in the act of writing itself. He described it as a "pleasure" and a "habit." This reminds us that writing can be a deeply fulfilling and rewarding activity, even when faced with obstacles.

George Orwell's "Why I Write," offers a profound exploration of the motivations behind his literary pursuits. Through his candid reflections, Orwell provides valuable insights for aspiring writers and readers alike.

I can identify with lessons discussed in the above Book. I follow Lessons (#2) in this article discuss above. I write simply. I love short sentences. I seldom used jargons. My writings are also based on my Personal Experiences (#1). I am also curious (# 5) and disciplined(#6) to write daily since 2009. 

Lastly, I enjoyed writing ( #7) and makes me feel young and useful. I love to write honestly and my writings are reflections of my values and social consciousness as well( #3 and #4).

Reference Book:[ad] https://amzn.to/3TfehKx

Lastly, in case you have not viewed this 5-minute video on a day in my life here at THD. It was film by my nephew and name sake from Sydney, AU during his visit here at THD last July. In this video, you will know how I started blogging since 2008-2009.

Watch the video

View From By Bedroom Sliding Door This Morning! My Bougainvilla in Bloom ( Reminds me of Chateau Du Mer in the Philippines)

Introducing Erik Watts of THD

A couple of weeks ago, I finally met Erik Watts in person along with Val ( spouse) and Steve Davis  (brother-in-law). Steve is one of the 132 residents here at THD currently.

  I told Erik that sometimes in the future, I would like to interview him with wife Val for my blogs. The next week I received this e-mail from Erik as follows:

Erik and Val at the Heritage Downtown, Walnut Creek- Photo from THD Website  

From:  Erik Watts

Chairman Comet Management Corp

(702) 296 7833  ewatts@cometnv.com

David, I heard a lot of good things about your work, look forward to doing an interview with you. Here is a little background of my life:

I was raised in an almost middle class family in Gardena California, played football at Gardena High School and received a 4 year scholarship to San Jose State University.  

I graduated with a degree in Chemistry in 1967 and was drafted by the Detroit Lions. After 1 1/2 years in Detroit, I  left for a Sales and Marketing position in Beverly Hills with FM Financial. 

In 1967, I meet a wonderful and talented girl named Valerie Davis. We feel in love, got married and had two amazing kids Hamilton and Aimee who both work with us in the family business. 

After 2 years I created my own innovative financial products and began my life's quest to design and run my own company, and unique product line. This lead to among other properties the development of The Heritage Downtown THD. 

I am also getting older, at age 80 but continue to push forward by walking and reading with all the wonderful spare time in retirement.  

Look forward to our conversation. Best, Erik 

Meanwhile enjoy this video by Sulic and Genchev-Czardas -one of my favorite classical piece

Lastly, Like Erik, let us strive to aging gracefully💚. Again thank you Erik for your quick response and e-mail above. It was a pleasure meeting you in person and introducing you to my blog readers all over the world. I am hoping that I can have a more detail interview with you and Val in your hopes and future for THD.

Here are the Secrets of Aging Gracefully:

💚https://theintellectualmigrants.blogspot.com/2024/11/the-secrets-to-aging-gracefully.html

Amazing Facts About Books- Employee Turnover

Here are some updated fascinating facts about books that will leave you amazed:

From My Face Book Page Today:.

1. The longest novel ever written is *In Search of Lost Time* by Marcel Proust, with over 1.2 million words!

2. The most stolen book from public libraries is *The Guinness Book of World Records*.

3. The word “Dracula” means "Son of the Dragon" in Romanian, based on the title *Dracul*, given to Vlad the Impaler's father.

4. Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishers before Bloomsbury took a chance on J.K. Rowling.

5. The Bible is the most translated book in the world, available in over 3,000 languages!

6. The famous opening line "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" comes from Charles Dickens’ *A Tale of Two Cities*.

7. There’s a word for the fear of running out of something to read: abibliophobia!

8. Reading for just 6 minutes can reduce stress by up to 68%, more effective than listening to music or going for a walk.

9. The world's most expensive book, *The Codex Leicester* by Leonardo da Vinci, was bought by Bill Gates for $30.8 million!

10. J.R.R. Tolkien typed the entirety of *The Lord of the Rings* with just two fingers!

11. The Bible is the most translated book in the world, available in over 3,000 languages! (Yes, it’s so amazing, it deserves a second mention!)

12. The first book ever printed using a printing press was the Gutenberg Bible in 1455.

13. Ray Bradbury wrote *Fahrenheit 451* on a rented typewriter in the basement of UCLA’s library for 10 cents per half-hour.

14. The famous phrase "Happy Birthday to You" comes from a song in a children's book called *The Birthday Song* published in 1893.

15. The first “novel” ever written is believed to be *The Tale of Genji* by Japanese noblewoman Murasaki Shikibu in the 11th century.

16. The term “bookworm” dates back to the 1600s and refers to people who are as hungry for books as worms are for paper.

17. Book burning dates back to ancient times, with the most famous incident being the destruction of the Library of Alexandria.

18. Studies show that reading fiction improves empathy, as readers experience life through different perspectives and characters.

Lastly, here's our meal time conversation last night:

Ist Resident: I did not see Cydney at the Happy Hour this afternoon?

2nd Resident: Do you think she quit or get fired?

3rd Resident: I believe it is her day off?

Me: She just got promoted and had a Pay raise, why would she quit?

Ist Resident: The recent rapid turnover in the Activity is a sign of micromanagement.

2nd Resident: As a former manager, micromanagement results to employee dissatisfaction.

3rd Resident: Incidentally, I have not seen Martha this last couple of days

Me: Let me ask one of the Servers.. Is Martha on Vacation? The server said yes and she will be back in the next couple of days.

1st Resident: The high turnover is in the Activity Department not in the Kitchen/Server Crew.  

2nd Resident: I heard the pay scale here at THD is low, no retirement and medical Benefits;

I told the group, that during my graduate school days at UC Berkeley for my Master's Degree on Business Management, one on the research papers I did was on the negative effect of high turnover in an organization. Here's the conclusion of my research:

"High employee turnover is costly and can negatively affect on the organization. High turnover is caused by a lack of communication, support, and company culture. Ensuring that your staff has an amazing experience with your organization can help decrease turnover and increase employee satisfaction and engagement.  Effective internal communication can help increase engagement and ensure that your workforce feel connected to your company ".

Let us hope that with Karen Kopp back at a temporary basis, THD activities will return back to normal and be a part of our daily lives here at THD as usual. 

Julie Andrews- My Favorite Things

I love song Parodies. I wrote my first one in 2002 about My Beach House in the Philippines and composed A song Parody _I left My Heart in Marinduque ( not San Francisco). 

My second song Parody I wrote just recently about my two pet Cats, Batman and Robin. My creation has to be sang to the tune of " Some Enchanting Evening" from the movie, South Pacific.

Today I read the song Parody of Julie Andrews- Regarding her Turning 79 birthday. Her song Parody of "My Favorite Things" is Funny!

"To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'. 

Here are the lyrics she used: (Sing It!) - If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had,

And then I don't feel so bad.

>>>>>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd

that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please

share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humor with others who

would appreciate it.) Posted from My Face Book Page.

Meanwhile, Can you translate this in simple English?!

Meanwhile here's a photo of the David B Katague Clan, Taken Christmas 2022

I hope the above song parody brightens your day! Advance Thanksgiving Greetings to ALL!