Becoming American( formerly Life in the United States & the Philippines-1960 to the Present): Stages of Aging and Role Reversal

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Welcome to Las Vegas, Nevada- the Gambling Capital of US and the City that never sleeps! So, what has this city have to do with this site. The answer is none. I just love the photo, I took during our vacation to this city a couple of years ago. In this site, you will find articles from my autobiography, global warming, senior citizens issues, tourism, politics in PI, music appreciation and articles about our current experiences as retirees enjoying the "snow bird" lifestyle between US and the Philippines. Your comments will be highly appreciated. Some of the photos and videos on this site, I do not own. However, I have no intention on infringement of your copyrights. Cheers!

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Stages of Aging and Role Reversal

Our Golden Wedding Anniversary, 2007, Marinduque, Philippines

When you were a child you expect your parents to protect you always. But as you grow up you realize your parents can’t protect you no matter how much they want. As your parents grow older, there will be a role reversal.

Our Wedding Day, May 8, 1957, Philippines

The following are the Stages of Aging written by Karen Purze***:
https://lifeinmotionguide.com/stages-of-aging/

Stages of Aging #1: Your Parents Don't Need Help

This is the stage where you call up your parents and they’re too busy to meet up, or are traveling, or spending half a year in a different town. Or maybe they’re nearby, and eager to babysit your kids. They're fully independent and don't need any help from you. Stay here as long as you can, and enjoy it!

Stages of Aging #2: Your Parents Think They Don't Need Help (But They Do)

At this point, you’ve noticed some things that have you concerned. Maybe they aren’t able to maintain their house like they used to, or are having a hard time getting groceries or making meals — but they’re compensating somehow and are getting by. Or maybe there are physical or mental changes, foreshadowing something bigger that hasn’t yet arrived. In our case, it was nearly all of these things.

My parents needed help long before they accepted it, especially “outside” help.
This stage was purgatory for me because my parents were getting a lot of help — from me and my brothers. Yet they reacted to suggestions that they hire help as if they were independent. I was anxious and scared and wanted to pass through this stage as quickly as possible.

If that sounds like you, remember, your parents likely value their independence as much as you value your own, so try to be patient. See if you can have some conversations about what they’d like to happen if they were, one day far in the future, to hypothetically need help at home. (Remember only you know your parents already need help!)

Stages of Aging #3: Your Parents Don't Need Enough Help

After I told my parents I would no longer 15 miles out of my way to special deliver orange juice on my way home from work, they agreed to hire some help.
This is a version of their initial request: “We’d like someone to come in for an hour and a half in the mornings, and an hour at night. But maybe not every day.” Maybe your mom wants some help four hours a week, but not on the same day of the week. In this stage, your parents want some help, but not “enough”.

Here’s what I mean by that: it’s possible to get help to fit these really flexible needs, but it’s going to be hard to find. And it’s unlikely to be from a bonded, insured agency who can handle the hiring and back-filling if your caregiver can’t make it on any given day. Agencies often have minimum hours requirements, too, because they know that getting reliable help requires a mutual commitment.

If your parents can’t commit, you or they will need to start interviewing. You’ll need to find caregivers yourselves, through referrals or online platforms.

Stages of Aging #4: Your Parents Need Daily Help (And They Have It)

If you can’t stay in Stage 1 forever, stay here (not that you can choose or control much about this process!) You’ve finally figured out the right balance. Maybe someone in the family stepped up and is providing the care your parents need, maybe you’ve hired an agency, maybe your parents moved to a senior living community or assisted living. You’ve adapted to whatever came your way, and it’s working out. I hope things stay this way! Just in case, though, there are two more stages to consider.

Stages of Aging #5: They Need Medical Help

There may come a time when your parents need medical help that a home care agency or private caregiver can't provide. Medical help includes managing and administering medication, giving injections, wound care, and other skilled nursing services. This is a really stressful stage because the stakes have gotten higher. The need for medical help is often a turning point for someone who wanted to stay at home. It can dramatically increase the cost of care because many home care agencies are not licensed to provide “medical help.” so private-duty nurses must be hired.

Stages of Aging #6: They Need Full-Time Help

There may come a time when it’s not safe for your parent(s) to be left alone. The choices you have at this point are similar to those you’ve had all along. You can help them yourself (with as much support from others as you can muster), you can hire help in their home (or your own), or you can move your parents to a community that provides the necessary support.

Meanwhile, visit this site for more wedding anniversary photos:

https://davidbkatague.blogspot.com/search?q=silver+wedding

*** Author: Karen Purze

Karen Purze is the author of Life In Motion: A Guide for Gathering Life’s Vital Details, a workbook to help people get their affairs in order. She blogs about end-of-life and emergency planning at lifeinmotionguide.com.

Personal Note: We are now in Stage 4 and 5 in our aging years!

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ABOUT ME

I am a retired (Chemistry Team Leader from USFDA) Filipino-American who loves writing, gardening and photography. My wife ( of 59 years) and I enjoy the snowbird lifestyle between the US and the Philippines. We have a small but very private beach resort in the beautiful island of Marinduque, Philippines. I have several blog sites (ten), a personal blog, blogs about Marinduque and about our beach resort and conference center-CHATEAU DU MER. I have also a writing account for Hubpages.com. I will appreciate very much any comments on my postings.

Genealogy of the Balleza and Katague Surnames

Several years ago, I started a genealogy of my mother's last name- “Balleza”. I was able to trace it back to the 15th century. The name originated from Bilbao, Spain. I then traced it to Mexico, then to US in Texas and then to the Philippines. I was able to locate a town in Mexico named Balleza, in the state of Chihuahua. The town was founded in 1640 and named after Fr. Mariano Balleza ,a Spanish friar.. I was able also to communicate with a radio announcer in Houston, Texas whose family name is also Balleza. I also found several Balleza families in Googles and recently in Face Book. Note that the name is similar to another name in the Philippines “ Belleza”, a Spanish word which means beautiful. But “Balleza” and “Belleza” are two different names in the Philippines. I am happy and satisfied with the origin of my mother's last name. When my mother was still alive, she told me that her grandfather was a Spanish soldier that participated in the Spanish colonization of the Philippines (1565 -1898). Today, I am curious on the genealogy of my father's last name. When my father was still alive, his last named was spelled with a “C” instead of the “K”. He changed it with the “K” when he was in high school. My father has two brothers who also changed it to start with a “ K”. But all of my father other relatives as far as I know has not change it. So there are a lot of “Catague's” in the Philippines, that are my relatives. The famous Catague is a painter named Fernando. His paintings are exhibited in the museum of Iloilo and Manila. My father has informed me that Fernando is a relative and originally was from Antique. . In the Philippines, I know there are Katagues in Iloilo, Negros Occidental, Bohol, Antique, Cavite and in Mindanao. I also found there is a Katague in Brazil from Googles. I just recently meet a niece in Face Book from Vancouver, B.C. She is the daughter of my first cousin from Bacolod, Negros Occidental. There are several Katagues in Face Book, and one in Twitter, but I do not know if we are related. Incidentally, there is a town in Bohol, named “Catague”. I am curious, how the town got its name, but I do not have the time to do research on it. If you know, please let me know. It will be highly appreciated.

There are several variations of the Katague name. These are: Catague, Catage, Catagi, Katagi, Katage, Kataque and Kata Gue ( from Indonesia). I know of a Japanese chemist with surname of Katagi. It may be true that Katague originated from Japan from the surname Katagi as my father once mentioned. So if your last name is any of the above or if you are married to someone with any of the names above, we may be related. I will appreciate if you contact me in Face Book or in this site. I will be delighted to meet you on line or in person.

Genealogy of the Nieva Clan-Macrine's Maternal Side of the Family

It is summer time and time for family reunions. The Nievas of the World will probably be have a reunion in the Philppines or here in US sometime this year or next year. Hopefully, Macrine and I could attend this time.

Macrine Nieva Jambalos and husband, David Balleza Katague of Marinduque and Northern California toasting champagne during their Golden Wedding Anniversary, Boac, Marinduque, Philippines,2007 In 2003, there was a reunion of the Nieva clan in the Philippines organized by Rene Elizalde Nieva, Macrine's first cousin. We were invited but not able to attend. Rene wrote in his invitation that he is in the process of writing a book about the Nieva clan. He said the book will be privately published with limited printing which will include a general history starting on the possible roots of the Nieva family as well as the achievements of various members of the clan and their contribution to the betterment of Marinduque and of the Philippines. As of this writing date, I have not heard on the status of Rene's book. In his invitation he invited all the direct and indirect descendants of the children and spouses of Calixto Nieva and Epifania Morente. Note that Rene is the great-grandson of Calixto Nieva and Macrine is also the great-granddaughter of Calixto Nieva , thus Rene and Macrine are first cousins. I just can not believe that my six grand children are now the great-great-great grand children of Calixto Nieva and Epifania Morente. Calixto and Epifania Morente had six children, four boys and two girls as follows (from oldest to youngest) along with their spouses. 1.Juan Nieva had two wives. The first wife was Isabel Decena. When Isabel died Juan remarried Elvira Sarmiento. Juan Nieva is both Macrine's and Rene's grandfather. He was the first governor of Marinduque and also the grandfather of the outgoing Governor. Rene and Macrine are first cousin of Jose Antonio (Bong) Nieva Carrion, the outgoing Governor of Marinduque. 2.Victoria Nieva married Doroteo Mercader 3.Dionisio Nieva married Salud de la Santa 4.Gregorio Nieva married Maria Arevalo 5.Jose Nieva married Trinidad Carmona 6.Rosita Nieva married Dr Angel Mayuga Rene's invitation also included the descendants of the brothers of Calixto, namely Pedro and Francisco Nieva. It also included the brothers and sisters of Epifania Morente, which included not just the Morentes but also the Roceses, Abadas, Trinidads and the Kasilags. Incidentally, the Reyeses are second cousins of Macrine and the other Nievas of Marinduque. This article will concentrate on the descendants of Juan Nieva and his two wives, Isabel Decena from Santa Cruz and Elvira Sarmiento from Buenavista.. Children of Juan Nieva and Isabel Decena ( from Oldest to Youngest) 1.Calixto Nieva married Juanita Jambalos 2.Blanca Nieva- single was killed by the Japanese during World War II 3.Elena Nieva married Bernardo Jambalos, Jr ( brother of Juanita) Children of Juan Nieva and Elvira Sarmiento(from Oldest to Youngest) 1.Guillermo ( Willie) Nieva married Dr Celina Elizalde 2.Rosario Nieva married Ramon Carrion 3.Ester Nieva married Rafael Seno 4.Monica Nieva married Conrado Luarca 5.Elizabeth Nieva married Romulo Santo Domingo 6.Asuncion Nieva married Dr. Rafael Ocampo 7.Fr Constantino Nieva- single For the purpose of this article, I will discuss only the descendants of Elena Nieva and Bernardo Jambalos, Jr. They have seven children as follows: ( From Oldest to Youngest) 1.Macrine Nieva Jambalos- married David B Katague from Iloilo ( that's me) 2.Sister Guia Jambalos- Order of the Cenacle-single 3.Bernardo Jambalos III married Loreta Mercader 4.Fe Jambalos married Edgardo Lazarte 5.Edgar Jambalos ( deceased) married Asuncion Pagalunan 6.Jean Jambalos married Mitch Maeda 7.Rosario Jambalos married Michael Levin Note that Rene Nieva is the oldest son of Guillermo Nieva and Dr. Celina Elizalde. The younger brother of Rene, Yong is my partner in our literary project, I left my Heart in Marinduque ( not San Francisco). http://marinduqueonmymind.blogspot.com Macrine's telephone buddy and first cousin from Vancouver, BC, Canada Olga Luarca Quiazon is the oldest daughter of Monica and Conrado Luarca The outgoing governor of Marinduque is the second son of Rosario Nieva and Ramon Carrion This posting continues with the offspring of Macrine Jambalos and David B. Katague. They have 4 children and six grandchildren as follows: 1.Dodie( Diosdado) Katague married Ruth Carver- They have 3 children, Philip Winchester, Alexandra and Marina Katague 2.Dinah E Katague married David E King- They have 2 children, Ian and Elaine King 3.David E III-single 4.Ditas Macrine Katague married Nick Thompson- They have one child, Carenna Nicole Thompson Fe Jambalos has two daughters, Lanie and Ella Jean Jambalos has two daughters, Yuri and Yuka Rosario has two children, Carlos and Zehara Asuncion and Edgar( deceased) Jambalos has three sons, Edmund, Nonoy and Jhun-Jhun and a daughter, Marilyn Bernardo Jambalos III has five children and three grandchildren as of this writing date. Accomplishments of the children of David B and Macrine J. Katague are discussed in detail at http://theintellectualmigrant.blogspot.com Some Interesting Vignettes: The marriage of Calixto and Juanita Jambalos was not approved by their father Don Juan Nieva. Juanita was the daughter of a barrio businessman from Laylay. During those time, if you are from the barrios, you are not welcome or accepted to the social group of the main town of Boac. The Jambalos family although well off were considered TAGABUKID ( from the bonies). Don Juan Nieva wanted his lawyer son to marry Enriqueta Nepomuceno, one of the popular socialites in Boac. When Juanita died, Calixto did not marry again. Soon Calixto also died and every one in town claimed he died with a broken heart. Enriqueta in the meantime was waiting for Calixto. Enriqueta never married and died as a spinster. Blanca Nieva graduated from Nursing School at Philippine General Hospital and was earning well. When their father died, she helped in sending her half-sister Rosario to College. She supported her sister and spoiled her by dressing her up to maintain her place in the high society of Boac at that time. Elena, is the third child of Isabel Decena from Santa Cruz. Isabel died giving birth to Elena. Elena was therefore nursed by the sister of Isabel, Regina Decena Reforma. Elena and Policarpio Reforma ( son of Regina) shared the same breast milk of Tia Regina. When Elena was five years old, she and sister Blanca as well as brother Calixto, were brought to Boac where their father Juan Nieva remarried Elvira Sarmiento from Buenavista. Elena grew up under the care of Lola Victoria ( sister of Juan Nieva). They lived in the old Nieva Building at the foot of the hill leading to Mataas Na Bayan. Elena later went to college at the University of the Philippines and finished her Bachelor Degree in Education. When Juanita Jambalos-Nieva( wife of Calixto) died during childbirth, Elena and Bernardo Jambalos II ( brother of Juanita) were made in-charged of bringing the corpse from Manila back to Marinduque. During the trip, people mistook them as husband and wife. Their romance started then and later were married at the Boac Catholic Church. Today, if I had to guess, there should be more than seven hundred members of the Nieva clan, just based on the six children of Calixto Nieva and Epifania Morente all over the world. If you include the descendants of Pedro and Francisco Nieva, the two brothers of Calixto, it could reached to more than a thousand Nievas all over the universe. If you are a member of this clan, please let me know. Someday, I may be able to trace the Nieva genealogy all the way to Spain, as I did with my mothers name "Balleza", several years ago. My e-mail is in this site and I am also in Face Book.

Death Valley National Park

Death Valley National Park is a national park located east of the Sierra Nevada in the arid Great Basin of the United States. Parts of the park are in southern Inyo County and northern San Bernardino County in Eastern California, with a small extension into southwestern Nye County and extreme southern Esmeralda County in Nevada. In addition, there is an exclave (Devil's Hole) in southern Nye County. The park covers 5,262 square miles (13,630 km2), encompassing Saline Valley, a large part of Panamint Valley, almost all of Death Valley, and parts of several mountain ranges. Death Valley National Monument was declared a U.S. National Monument in 1933, placing the area under federal protection. In 1994, the monument was redesignated a national park, as well as being substantially expanded to include Saline and Eureka valleys. It is the hottest and driest of the national parks in the United States. The second-lowest point in the Western Hemisphere is in Badwater Basin, which is 282 feet (86 m) below sea level. The park is home to many species of plants and animals that have adapted to this harsh desert environment. Some examples include creosote bush, Bighorn Sheep, Coyote, and the Death Valley Pupfish, a survivor of much wetter times. Approximately 95% of the park is designated as wilderness. Its wilderness area covers 4,774 square miles (12,360 km2), making it the largest in the Lower 48 states, and the sixth largest in the United States overall. Death Valley National Park is visited annually by more than 770,000 visitors who come to see its diverse geologic features, desert wildlife, historic sites, scenery, and clear night skies. Mining was the primary activity in the area before it was protected. The first documented non-Native Americans to enter Death Valley did so in the winter of 1849, thinking they would save time by taking a shortcut to the gold fields of California. They were stuck for weeks and in the process gave the valley its name, even though only one of their group died there. Several short-lived boom towns sprang up during the late 19th and early 20th centuries to exploit minor local bonanzas of gold. The only long-term profitable ore to be mined, however, was borax, a mineral used to make soap and an important industrial compound. Today, borax is an essential component of high-temperature resistant boro-silicate glass products, for example Pyrex cookware. Twenty-mule teams were used to transport ore out of the valley; helping to make it famous and the subject of books, radio programs, television series, and movies.

The natural environment of the area has been shaped largely by its geology. The valley itself is actually a graben. The oldest rocks are extensively metamorphosed and at least 1.7 billion years old. Ancient warm, shallow seas deposited marine sediments until rifting opened the Pacific Ocean. Additional sedimentation occurred until a subduction zone formed off the coast. This uplifted the region out of the sea and created a line of volcanoes. Later the crust started to pull apart, creating the current Basin and Range landform. Valleys filled with sediment and, during the wet times of glacial periods, with lakes, such as Lake Manly.

Note: This is No.9 of the series of articles on popular national parks in US.